When a military parent deploys, children can experience a wide range of emotions, from confusion and sadness to anxiety and fear. As a parent or caregiver, providing emotional support and preparation can help ease the transition and foster resilience. This guide offers practical tips and strategies to help children navigate deployment with confidence and strength.
1. How to Emotionally Prepare Children for a Parent’s Deployment
Preparing children for deployment starts with open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations. Explain the situation in a way they can understand, and reassure them that their feelings are valid. Encourage questions and create a safe space for emotional expression.
Tips:
- Use storybooks or videos that explain military deployments.
- Offer reassurance by focusing on the return date and plans to stay connected.
- Acknowledge their emotions and validate their concerns.
2. Maintaining Strong Connections During Deployment
Staying connected during deployment helps children feel close to the absent parent. Create rituals or activities that keep the bond alive and provide comfort.
Ideas to Stay Connected:
- If possible, schedule regular video calls or record voice messages.
- Create a countdown calendar for the parent’s return.
- Encourage children to write letters, draw pictures, or assemble care packages.
- Establish special rituals, like reading the same book together at bedtime.
3. Building Resilience in Children During Military Absence
Resilience is key for children during periods of separation. Help them develop coping skills and engage in activities that boost confidence.
Ways to Build Resilience:
- Encourage involvement in sports, hobbies, or community programs.
- Foster independence through age-appropriate responsibilities.
- Praise efforts and achievements, reinforcing a growth mindset.
4. Helping Children Cope with Anxiety and Uncertainty
It’s normal for children to feel anxious or uncertain about a parent’s absence. Teaching them how to manage these feelings promotes emotional well-being.
Coping Strategies:
- Introduce calming techniques like breathing exercises or mindfulness activities.
- Use “worry jars” where children write down their worries and discuss them.
- Create a list of fun activities to distract and comfort them.
- Encourage positive self-talk and affirmations.
5. Creating Support Networks: Involving Family and Community
Building a strong support network provides children with stability and emotional security. Involve family, friends, and the military community in their daily lives.
Support Ideas:
- Connect with other military families going through similar experiences.
- Arrange playdates and social gatherings.
- Enroll children in mentorship programs or counseling services.
- Meet other military families through church or community events.
6. Reintegrating After Deployment: Easing the Transition Back
When the deployed parent returns, it’s important to ease the transition and rebuild routines. Children may feel excitement but also need time to adjust.
Reintegration Tips:
- Give children space to express their feelings about the return.
- Gradually reintroduce family routines and traditions.
- Be patient with emotional outbursts or clinginess.
- Plan fun family activities to celebrate the reunion.
7. Books and Resources for Children with Deployed Parents
Books and resources can help children understand deployment and cope with their emotions. Sharing stories of other military families can normalize their experiences and provide comfort.
Recommended Books:
- “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst – A heartwarming story about staying connected to loved ones even when apart.
- “My Daddy is a Hero” by Hannah Tolson – A picture book that explains military life in an accessible way.
- “Night Catch” by Brenda Ehrmantraut – A touching story about a father and son staying connected during deployment.
8. Utilizing Military Resources and Classes for Support
Military branches offer various resources and classes specifically designed to support families during deployments. Encouraging military spouses to take advantage of these tools can provide additional guidance and emotional support for children.
Resources to Consider:
- Family Readiness Programs – Workshops and events to help families stay connected.
- Child and Youth Programs (CYP) – Activities and counseling for children of military families.
- Deployment Support Groups – Shared advice and emotional support.
- Online Learning and Webinars – Virtual resources on parenting during deployment.
9. Addressing Different Age Groups
Children of different ages process deployment in unique ways. Tailoring your approach based on age can help them feel more secure and understood.
Age-Based Tips:
- Toddlers: Use simple language, visual aids, and routines to help them grasp the concept of absence.
- School-Age Kids: Incorporate storybooks, role-playing, and creative activities to explain the deployment.
- Teens: Engage them in deeper conversations and involve them in family preparations, allowing space for their input and concerns.
10. Reconnecting After Deployment
The period after deployment is a critical time for rebuilding and reconnecting as a family. Children may need time to adjust, and reintegration can present emotional and behavioral shifts.
Reintegration Tips:
- Gradually reintroduce routines and family traditions.
- Allow space for children to express excitement, anxiety, or confusion.
- Plan one-on-one time for the returning parent to bond with each child.
- Celebrate the homecoming with a special family event or outing.
11. Additional Resources for Caregivers
Caring for children during deployment can be challenging, and support systems are invaluable. Many military organizations provide resources and counseling for families.
Recommended Resources:
- Military OneSource – Offers counseling, webinars, and deployment resources.
- USO Family Programs – Provides events and activities for military families.
- Sesame Street for Military Families – Interactive tools for young children.
- National Military Family Association – Support programs and resources.
Final Thoughts
While deployment presents challenges, it also offers opportunities for growth and bonding. With patience, creativity, and the right support systems, families can emerge stronger and more connected. By maintaining open communication, fostering resilience, and staying connected, parents and caregivers can help children feel secure and emotionally grounded. Each step you take strengthens their ability to cope with challenges, helping them grow into confident, resilient individuals.
